I always fall into my own trap.
“Dude, quit shaking up Squidward.”
“Squidward is fine. Squidward is healthy and hardy with very good genes that will give Squidward a very hard head.“ Jade still reclines back into her seat even though she knows it’s okay at this stage in the pregnancy to be running around. Partly because her back is starting to ache a bit (the maternity command chair was the best idea she ever had), but mostly because she knows if she doesn’t Dave is going to fuss and get in her way anyway. Fussy, fussy, fussy!
Placated, Dave begins to read the diagnostic report to her so she doesn’t have to stand and read it herself. Tabby is strapped to his back, gurgling and pulling on Daddy’s hair. Jade makes faces at their daughter who squawks and bounces in response and for a moment the entire universe is perfect.
They’re responding to a distress signal coming from an asteroid belt. They can’t discern the language, so they don’t know the nature of the emergency, but the fact they’re not using Alternian means they’re either not empirical, or they’re hiding from the Empire. This is an opportunity they can’t pass up. (Hopefully they still speak some Alternian, though, or they won’t be able to communicate at all.)
Dave thinks it’s pirates.
Dave always thinks it’s pirates.
Dave is no fun.
“Zero energy readings. Whatever’s out there is dead.” He turns back to you. “Are you sure we want to check it out?”
“We’ve been floating around her for months with zero contact from anyone, Dave. Finally we find someone, who’s not going to blow us away the first chance they get. We have to try to make contact.” She adjusts herself in her seat. “I don’t want to be lost for another 6 months. Besides, leaving someone stranded is just plain rude.”
He sighs and moves over to the gunning rig. “Alright, if you insist.”
Flying through an asteroid belt on auto is Invade Russia During Winter levels of bad idea, so going manual is the only way to get through. It takes hours of finely combing the area until the distress signal starts to become stronger. They finally find the ship attached to the side of a huge asteroid. There’s a wing missing and the paint’s seen better days, but there’s no mistaking it.
“Jade… That’s an Alternian battle cruiser.”
“Why would an Alternian battle cruiser not use an Alternian signal?” He’s starting to panic a bit, and honestly so is Jade. Then she sees it.
“Wait. Look at the side. It’s not a trident, it’s a spear!”
“Holy shit. It’s a rebellion ship!”
holy little jesus i want this like burning.